What We Went Through
by Takada Saiko
Summary: Dirrectly follows 'Crash'. It's December 1971 and the A-Team is back in the US for R&R after Face and Murdock's encampment as POWs. Just some of their thoughts and reactions. R&R please
1. Chapter 1

**what we went through in two parts**

story by: Takada Saiko

A/N: I own nothing. This follows just after 'Crash'. Kinda dark, I guess?

* * *

Part One: Face

Face paced uneasily in the hotel room. They had splurged – by Hannibal's standards, not his – by renting out four separate rooms. Hannibal had said they deserved it if they were to really relax for the four week leave that they had. This was a time to recover and recoup. Easy for him to say, Face thought bitterly, because Colonel Smith had not seen just what that POW camp had within its borders. He didn't really know what Face and Murdock had been through in the couple of long days that they had been there.

They'd been back in the United States for a week now and Face woke every night either from his own nightmares or the screams of his friend in the next room over. At first he'd rushed in to make sure that Murdock was alright. He was, after all, still recovering from the injuries that he'd suffered at the hand of the Viet Congs. He'd rushed in there to find HM Murdock staring wide-eyed and confused. "You screamed," Face would say. The pilot would cock his head to the side and shrug, never admitting anything or acknowledging much at all. Then he'd go back to sleep and Face would return to his own room to stare at the ceiling all night. That had been their habit since returning to the US of A five days prior.

Face massaged the bridge of his nose, exhaustion tugging at his being. Murdock whimpered in his sleep across the room. A nap… that was all it was, and he couldn't even find peace there. Of course Face wasn't sure how many times he'd had the same reaction in his sleep. He woke himself up as much as Murdock had woken him up.

The conman jumped as Murdock leapt up from his place, eyes wide and a scream dying in his throat. He collapsed back onto Face's bed where he'd been napping, hand clutching at his broken ribs and the barely closed bullet hole that had caused him so much of his rare blood. The pilot let out a groan and sank against the sheets. "I just want to know what I keep dreamin'," he grumbled.

"No you don't," Face murmured, eyes never turning to meet his friends.

"You keep sayin' that, Faceman, but you don't know. What could be so bad that I can't remember the dreams, huh? They keep waking me up and I should at least remember what they are, right?"

Face shrugged.

"We going to see Willy Wonka today?" Murdock asked in his childish way. His eyes shined, the just-beyond-reach nightmares pushed even further away.

Lieutenant Peck stood and crossed the room, placing one hand up to the injured pilot's forehead, feeling for temperature. "You've got a touch. We should probably put it off-"

"Ah, Faceman," Murdock wailed, "I don't wanna put it off again. You promised we'd go see it. If you won't go see it with me, I'll go by myself."

"No," Face said quietly. He moved to the window, peeking out the curtains. Anti-war riots were regular in the streets. Hippies were the constant fad and he didn't even want to imagine Murdock running into the snide remarks – or worse – alone. Maybe that was just because he wouldn't want to face them alone. He really needed to check this new overprotection of his friend. "I'll go with you."

A grin broke out across Murdock's face and he stood. "I'll get my jacket," he announced and started for the door, leaving Face to sit on the bed. The pilot paused before leaving. "Hey Face?"

"Hmm?"

"I've got a question. It's kinda serious."

"What is it, Murdock?" Face asked patiently.

The pilot turned, his dark eyes more serious than Face liked to see. "Do you think… BA's right?"

"About what, Murdock?"

"That I'm crazy. He's always saying it…."

"BA's just running his mouth," Face grumbled. He didn't need to hear this. He couldn't take it right now.

"Well, I was just wondering. Ya know, they say ya don't know if you're crazy and all that." He shrugged. "I was just wonderin'. Let's go see the movie, 'kay, Face?"

"Yeah," Face answered and he stood as the door closed behind his friends. "Anyone'd be crazy after what you went through," he murmured to the place the pilot had been standing. "After what _we_ went through."

* * *

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Part two: Murdock**

* * *

"That was _amazing_!" Murdock announced as he bounced out of movie theatre. His energy seemed to be boundless and he turned to look at his companion. His eyes were dancing, excited by the movie and the endless runs of songs now playing through his head.

"It was alright," Face laughed, shrugging his shoulders. He'd found something more interesting when a group of pretty girls had sat down next to them. He glanced back over his shoulder, looking for the group that the girl that had been directly next to him. Blonde, long eye lashes, and a pretty complexion… He could allow himself that, right? Maybe, just maybe, he could forget his nightmares for just a few minutes.

"Alright?" Murdock howled, his expression exaggerated. "Just alright, Faceman? It was awesome! I liked the little people… The Oompa Loompas."

"Yeah, they were great, buddy," Face answered distantly, eyes scanning the crowd.

"Oooh," Murdock murmured, propping an elbow up on his friend's shoulder. "You're looking for the pretty lady on your other side?"

Face grinned, nodded, and continued looking. The pilot at his side joined in on his grin and pointed. "There she is, isn't she?"

"Yeah," the shorter man acknowledged, watching the pretty girl stride towards them. She smiled and batted her eyes.

"Hiya. Couldn't help but notice that you weren't watching much of the movie," she said, her voice light and airy.

Murdock hid a smile as he watched the conman work his magic. The girl giggled as Face whispered something into her ear and the pilot turned to find her dark haired friend next to him. He felt a blush creeping up to his cheeks as she inched closer. "So what's your name, handsome?" she asked.

"HM," Murdock managed, feeling awkward all of a sudden.

She smiled, her teeth white and pearly. "What do you do, HM? Are you a student? You from around here?"

"Nah, I'm out of Texas originally, and I finished up school several years ago. I'm a pilot."

"Pilot?" the girl echoed, her interest peeked. "Jane, you hear him? He's a pilot!" she called to the blonde girl. She turned back to Murdock."Who do you fly for, Captain HM?"

"United States Army," Murdock responded proudly. "We're on leave over here after a rough patch in 'Nam."

Her entire expression changed and she took a step away from him. "Army? You're a baby-killer?" she asked with her nose wrinkled.

"Hey now," Face said from his place. "You don't know a thing about it, lady."

"Bullshit we, don't," Jane, the blonde, growled out, stepping away from Face. "We've seen the video on the news. We know what you people do over there. You're horrible! You should all be put on trial for what you've done."

The conman glanced over to Murdock who had grown very quiet. The pilot tugged his cap down over his eyes and pulled his bomber jacket closer to his body. "Ya know," he said quietly, but firmly. All eyes turned to him and he glanced up, feeling awful sore suddenly and just wanting to get out of there. These women didn't know, after all, because they'd never seen it. They heard what the news told them, they knew what their fellow hippies said… "You _don't_ know," he said at last. "You've never been there. You've never seen what we have to do to protect our teams… the civilians there. You don't see what the VC do to those people. You don't _know_!"

Face's blue eyes widened a bit and he put a steadying hand on Murdock's shoulder. He knew the haunted look that was currently residing in the expressive brown eyes. It was the same look he saw in them when he rushed in checking on the lanky pilot when he woke up screaming. It was the look of a man who'd seen hell on earth. It was a look that appeared very strange on HM Murdock. "C'mon, buddy, let's head out."

Murdock's dark eyes followed the blonde and brunette as they wrinkled their noses and turned away. "They don't know anything. It doesn't matter," he heard Face say, but he was wrong. He knew he was wrong. It wasn't that those two particular women held any deep influence against him, but they did appear to be a generalization of their generation. It hurt, somehow, that they'd worked so hard and sacrificed so much only to come home to this.

Face sighed and slung an arm around his taller friend's shoulder. "Are _you_ proud of what we've done?" he asked seriously as they began walking.

Murdock thought for a moment, face very serious. The expression looked foreign on his playful features. "I'm proud to serve my country," he said at last, sounding very sure, "and with my team."

"There ya go. It doesn't matter what they think then," the conman answered with a grin. He received no response from the pilot and the silence bothered him. He stopped and turned to face his friend. "Murdock, are you okay? Really okay, I mean. We… went through a lot… I know you don't remember a lot of it, and I'm not asking you to, but those sorts of things can mess with your head, you know?"

A strange sort of smile spread across Murdock's lips. "I think so, Face," he said genuinely. "I dream a lot, but I bet you do too, don'tcha? I think I'll be okay as long as I've got ya'll around."

Face nodded, accepting the answer and the two men walked on.

They had three weeks left on their leave time, and then they'd be right back into it. Murdock was a little more comfortable with that idea after coming to his own revelations within his own mind. True, he'd probably always wake up to his own screams and only pieces of what had happened in the dark of the Vietnamese jungles that he may or may not ever put together to make a whole memory. He wasn't sure he wanted to. In any case, he had his team and his team would have him. If the entire world turned its back on them, at least he knew that would be a constant truth.


End file.
